Bucket List: Ticking off International Speaker Gig

Speaker Opportunity - Bucket List Activity; The only challenge in achieving this has been an inner critic that defined a criteria on what makes a speaker.

Perceptions Create Holding Pattens

The idea of standing on stage, in a room full of people, where the room goes quiet and everyone waits for your wisdom to be imparted fascinates me. However, not being an authority on any one subject was definitely holding me back. You could surmise the ambition to speak appeared a stretch goal.

In 2019 I finished an MA, I’d spent a year studying vertical leadership theory verses - flatter leadership structures (a tad dry for some). I had amassed a considerable amount information, but still wouldn’t have said I’m an expert on leadership theories. My lens for this conclusion was narrowed by seeing an exert as someone who knows everything about a subject that dates back to the 90s and is expanding exponentially. Or someone who had been at the heart of leading a global company - neither of which I was.

Through my University an invitation to present at an international conference for coaching was shared. I’ll caveat the location was at Oxford Brookes University campus, the international bit came from the global researchers and academics being invited to speak and listen. The universe was certainly offering me an opportunity to tick an activity off the list, however could I get past how I viewed experts?

Shifting Perceptions Create Opportunity

After reading, re-reading and a whole lot of underlying of my 25,000 word dissertation, which was accompanied by my inner judge; you’re no expert I forced myself to stop. This approach was not working. I had become very aware of how I was starting to annoy myself. I decided it was time to ask a different question of myself;

“What is it I enjoy most about listening to talks?”

Immediately and instinctively I knew - stories; Stories connect people. Stories connect ideas. Stories involve humans.

Reflection Created Change

It was the stories that allowed me to develop my own ideas of shared leadership when in the midst of data-analysis. Stories not the facts spoke to me, they allowed me to deepen my understanding of problems.

An out of tune orchestra, a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle dropped on the floor, serpents circling the room and crocodiles under the table; these powerful metaphors were captured when leadership coaches told me stories how they experienced the uniqueness of teams and their dysfunctional and messy nature.

My perception of myself and my capabilities was shifting as I reflected on what I did have to offer. I’d moved away from believing I needed to be an authority who knew everything to someone who had stories to share;

• I changed my focus when it wasn’t working

• I reframed my perception of myself by being instinctive & trusting my instincts

• I tapped into what was important to me, what I enjoyed about talks

• I moved past the need to be an authority and offered myself as a person who could sharing opinions on leadership

• I also was prepared to try; I wasn’t letting this opportunity go without putting in a bit of effort

• It was my ability to package up the stories that was going to sell the talk in, not just being a leadership exper
  

The Talk

A nervous energy ran through me and I put everything I had into that 30 minute slot and to be honest I don’t really remember giving the talk, I remember I had some insightful questions and ones where students were asking if I would share my work! I remember everyone clapped at the end. There were lots of indicators it went well and I remember I smiled. My stories helped the room make sense of team challenges - without me knowing every theory on team dysfunction.

Reflection got me here

Harnessing the power of reflection allowed me to develop and grown as a person.

Stop - Reflect - Grow

If I hadn’t taken a moment to realise my starting place wasn’t working…

If I hadn’t taken a moment to ask a different question…

If I hadn’t taken a moment to tap into my instincts…

If I hadn’t taken a moment to have a go… I may have missed out on being able to make a tiny section of my academic paper come to life and tick off an item on my bucket list.

When you’re able to learn stop, and bring awareness to what is happening in for you, you have harnessed the power of reflection and in that moment have developed and grown as a person.

“We do not learn from experience, we learn from reflecting on experience.” — John Dewey